Alanna Takes driving lessons
by Caldera
Summary: Gee, I wonder what happens? pg for a little of something that resembles violence.
1. Default Chapter

Alanna Takes Driving Lessons (The horror!!)  
  
  
~This is the first in a series of 'so-and-so' takes driving lessons. I think I'll start w/all Tamora Pierce Characters.  
  
  
It was a typical day in Tortall, John and George were at the swoop making dinner when Alanna burst through the kitchen door saying (in a bored voice) "Roger's come back -again. I'll just go and kill him -again. I'll be back before dinner." George looked at her seriously "I hope so, I made your favorite dish -vegetarian lasagna." (okay, so maybe it wasn't quite normal).) Alanna smiled at him and kissed him on the cheek "I love you." she said as she dashed out the door.  
  
Alanna ran to the stables -putting her sword and mail on as she went (with the help of a page-type-person)- and hopped on the horse some stableman or other had saddled for her. She yelled a thank you as she pushed the horse onward toward the palace. She arrived there in an amazingly short time but was still too late, Roger had already taken over the palace (pretty good for a guy who has been dead several times -Alanna killed him three times in the last month alone). Roger laughed evilly as he did some weird dance over the corpses of Thayet and a bunch of other important people who happened to be come him.  
  
Alanna challenged him "You rat! Can't you stay dead?! Come down here and fight -again!" (seemingly unaffected by all of the dead people who were once her friends [etc.] ).   
  
"You think I'm going to do that after the other *appears to be trying to count a rather large number on his fingers, fails and takes off his shoes and socks to get at his toes. Alanna sways and quickly covers her nose as the stench reaches her.* -well, never mind how many other times. You don't think I'd let you just kill me again do you? Hah! I will not!"   
  
"Oh yeah?" says Alanna as she draws her sword and hurls it at Roger. The pommel of the sword takes him full in the face and he falls over dead. 'What a wimp.' Alanna thinks.  
  
"Now what am I going to tell Jon?" she says as she looks down at the dead Thayet.  
  
A 'poof' is heard and Alanna turns around to see Daine's parents standing there.  
  
"What are you guys doing here?' Alanna asks in bewilderment.   
  
"Well, Dear," said Daine's mother, a goddess named Sara known as the Green Lady  
(a.n. I think that's right), "Wvyren (?) and I thought that we could start helping Daine's friends as well as Daine and we couldn't help but notice your predicament."  
  
"I'm sure it helped you convince Wvyren that -in this case- helping me would help Daine as well." Wvyren looked uncomfortable and Sara grinned.  
  
"I'll take that as a yes. So, what do you plan on doing about this?" Alanna gestures to the mass of dead people at her feet.   
  
"Well, you see, I just talked to the Graveyard Hag and she said-"  
  
"Never mind. I'll do anything to fix this, well...almost anything." Alanna interrupted. She has enough to worry about without The Graveyard Hag getting into her business (it was only okay now because she dreaded to think what would happen when she got back home, "Jon, I'm awfully sorry, but I was too slow and Roger killed your wife.").  
  
"Okay, you just hold still and I'll do it all." Sara rolled up her sleeves and twiddled her fingers. Green magic gathered on her fingertips and started flowing slowly toward the bodies strewn all over the castle steps. Suddenly, the magic flared and all Alanna could see for a moment was green. The light faded and disappeared, Alanna could see that everyone was as good as new -for the most part. Thayet's hair was in slight disarray and that would upset her a bit later, Alanna could just imagine Thayet trying to kill Roger again for messing up her hair. She must have smiled at the image because Thayet turned to her and asked "What's so funny?".  
  
Alanna covered her smile "Just glad to see you Your Majesty." she lied.  
  
Thayet looked at her askance "Hm, yeah right. Well, thanks for the help but I think we really need to do something about this timing problem. We can't have them *Thayet gestures at the spot Daine's parents had been but had now disappeared from* coming here all the time. I thought they couldn't come here except on equinoxes anyway." she adds, thoughtfully.  
  
Alanna taps her foot impatiently "What are you getting at? I can't just stand around Roger's coffin waiting for him to come back again, you know. If you ask me we should ignore that stupid law and burn him."  
  
Thayet looked appalled "We couldn't possibly do that! If we went past that law then the people would think all of the laws could be overlooked!" A law had been made by some monarch long ago that no noble's body could be purposely burned. Alanna had suggested and 'accidental' fire in Roger's coffin -a result of his many experiments in dark magic or a failed attempt at coming back perhaps- but Thayet and Jon wouldn't allow it.  
  
Thayet calmed down a bit and continued "I was suggesting that you learn how to drive a car."  
  
Alanna looked at her blankly "A what?".  
  
"A car. Those things the Kallegians drive around."  
  
"You mean those loud metal monsters? What are you thinking?! I don't want to go anywhere near them!"  
  
"Now, Alanna, the Kallegian ambassador assures us they are completely safe as long as they don't run into people."  
  
"Exactly." Alanna mumbled as Thayet continued "We could shorten your traveling time to a mere 15 minutes possibly. We could surely hold Roger that long, especially since Numair and Daine are getting back from their honeymoon today. Maybe Numair should take lessons too (a.n. dun, dun, dun). Oh well, we can't have you both busy with that at the same time. I want you to go straight to the Kallegians and ask about those lessons he offered. I expect you to do this well and promptly so you better get started."  
  
"Well, okay," said Alanna, thinking of getting into one of those 'cars' and never being able to get out " but I'm going home first. I told George and Jon that I'd be home in time for supper. You better call the royal coach, your supposed to be there too you know -and could we not tell anyone about this whole thing? It would be rather awkward."  
  
"That's perfectly alright with me. I don't need people questioning me let alone asking me questions about what it's like to be dead. I don't know, I was dead, how would I know what I was feeling?"  
  
Alanna blinked and held back the question she had been about to ask.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
So ends the first chapter. Review please!  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. The lessons begin

Alanna takes driving lessons: Part two (the horror!)  
  
  
Alanna rides to the palace the next morning and finds Thayet waiting for her.  
  
"Sir Alanna!" Something was up "I want you to meet the Kallegian Ambassador, Mr. Bill. Mr.Bill this is the King's champion, Sir Alanna."  
  
'What a weird name.' Thought Alanna as she clasped hands with the tall man.  
  
"I hear you would like to learn how to drive a car, Sir Alanna."  
  
'Drats, I was hoping Thayet would forget about that.' Alanna thought as she smiled cheerfully at Mr.Bill and said  
"Yes. I believe it will be faster than riding a horse to Corus constantly."  
  
The man smiled also "It will be at that. now then, how about we get started right away? Thayet tells me King Jonathan has released you from your duties for as long as you need with this 'project'."  
  
"Oh did he? How thoughtful of him." She glared at Thayet who smiled back innocently "Well then, I guess there is no reason I can't start now."  
  
"Good," Mr. Bill looked genuinely pleased "come with me please."  
Mr. Bill led Alanna to a large paved area where one of the training fields had previously been. A bright red mustang convertible was parked in the corner nearest them.  
  
Alanna stared at the car until Mr. Bill tapped her on the shoulder.  
"You'll be training with this nice reliable station wagon over here." he pointed at a broken down old wreck of a station wagon.  
  
"Whose car is that?" Alanna gestured at the mustang.  
  
"Mine." Mr. Bill said no more and headed toward the SW.  
  
Alanna hurried to catch up and saw him trying to pry the door open after unlocking it.  
  
"Here, let me try." Alanna yanked on the handle and the door came flying off, she landed in a heap on the blacktop.  
  
"Weird, that's never happened before." Mr. Bill said as he climbed in the driver's side and crawled over to the passenger seat. "Get in." he said to Alanna with a pleasant smile that made her wonder if he was insane or just very stupid. She decided it would be rude to ask as she stood up, brushed herself off and got into the car.  
  
"So what do I do now Ambassador?" Alanna asked after sitting there for a few minutes with Mr. Bill smiling pleasantly.  
  
"Call me Bob. Now you need to start the car."  
  
Alanna looks around for some reins and then, finding none, decides the car must be controlled by voice so she starts shouting at it to move (etc.).  
  
Bob looks startled and then amused "Alanna dear, you need to turn the key in the ignition to start the car." he said.  
  
"The what??!!" Alanna said, thinking perhaps he had said something inappropriate. It certainly sounded like some sort of obscenity.  
  
"The ignition." he pointed to the ignition where the key was inserted and a 'no fear' keychain was hanging.  
  
"Okay, here it goes." Alanna turned the key.  
  
The car made an extremely loud and unusual sound, the engine turned over. Unfortunately, Alanna had her foot on the gas when the car started and the car zoomed off of the 'parking lot' into Queen Thayet (who just happened to be passing by at the right [or wrong] moment).   
  
Alanna jumped out of the car as it continued to careen out of control with Bob inside and checked the fallen Queen's pulse. She was dead again.  
  
"Dang it! Not again!" Alanna pondered what she was going to do and a shimmering started behind her.  
  
"Really Alanna, you're worse than Daine! Two days in a row!" exclaimed Sara as she looked over Alanna's shoulder at Thayet.  
  
"Well, stand back and I'll fix it again." She did, Alanna thanked her and Sara disappeared. Bob was still in the car as it ran into the ocean and continued to go as if it were a boat.  
  
Thayet got up and glared at Alanna. "You killed me again, didn't you? Now look at my dress! I'll have to have ANOTHER one made now!" Thayet sighed and turned to go.  
  
"Hey, I didn't kill you the first time, okay?!" Thayet ignored her and continued on her way to the palace.  
  
Bob was now somewhere near Carthak, Alanna didn't care.  
  
  
disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns Alanna & co., I don't own 'No Fear' (whoever does, I don't know. I don't think they make keychains anyway.), I do own Mr. Bill, the broken down station wagon, Mr. Bill's sport's car ( he rents it from me), the plot (such as it is), all of the remarks I make in parentheses (I like parentheses), my computer, my disks, my CD's, a whole list of other things you don't want to hear about, and all of your minds (no really, I do, you just don't know it).   
  
Next chapter: Alanna and the amazing reader-writer-roto-rooter-radiator. Check back soon!  
  
  
  
  



	3. Alanna & the Amazing reader-writer-roto-...

Alanna takes driving lessons (the horror!), part three:  
  
Alanna buys a car  
  
  
  
"You know we're going to have to get another car, don't you?" said Mr. Bill (who -miraculously- made it back from the 'trip' though the station wagon -sadly- did not. [Why does it always happen to the station wagon? Why??!!!] )   
  
"Yeah. can't we just use yours?" asked Alanna -thinking of the perfect bright red mustang with a glazed look. "After what happened to the station wagon?! *Bob looks thoughtful for a moment* Tempting, but I don't think we should. Company car you know."  
  
"Oh." said Alanna, severely disappointed, "Then where are we going to get another car?"  
  
Bob smiled, Owen pops up out of nowhere and says "Jolly!" No one seems to notice.  
  
*a very long bus ride (made longer by all of those annoying songs -you know the ones) and 8,736,457,457,475 'Jolly's' later Alanna and Co. arrive at the car dealership*  
  
Alanna, Bob and Owen get off of the bus, Owen immediately yells "Jolly!!!" with all of his might and rushes off to who-knows-where. No one seems to notice.  
  
A walking eyesore came up beside Alanna. "How may I help you?" it said pleasantly with a smile that looked like it must hurt.  
  
Bob stepped forward "Sir Alanna here wants to buy a car, she's learning how to drive."  
  
"Oooooohhhhh, I see." The horrendous thing gave Alanna a look that made her want to shiver and then smiled -revealing teeth so bright they could block out the sun. He turned around and beckoned Alanna to follow him into the back lot of the dealership.  
  
"One of these should suit you perfectly." It said with a voice that was much too smooth for Alanna's liking. She looked around him and saw a whole lot of broken-down Station Wagons just like the one she had just disposed of. Alanna groaned. Bob grinned. Owen (again appearing out of nowhere) said "Not Jolly." and disappeared again.  
  
Mr. Bill walked into the lot and twirled around in circles -with a sparkle in his eyes he said "I just can't decide! They're all so wonderful!!"  
  
Alanna smacked herself in the forehead and nearly fell down.  
  
Bob walked over to Alanna and said excitedly "Alanna, why don't you choose?"  
  
Alanna groaned again and began casting about for the least ramshackle of the cars until -finally- she found it. A beautiful red-violet Ford Escort (kind of ironic -isn't it?).  
  
Alanna grinned and pointed "I want this one."  
  
Bob frowned "Not my first choice -but you're the one who has to drive it so... Dealer! Come here!"  
  
It was a different one this time, this one had a mouth big enough to shove a cow into and was as repulsive and vulgar as the other had been.  
  
"Ahhhh! The Escort! A fine selection -and this one comes with a Reader-writer-roto-rooter-radiator! Of course you know, that brings the warranty down to only 2 days."  
  
"We'll take it! Pay the man, Alanna."  
  
"What's so special about this writer-reader-rooter-rotor-radiater thing anyway?" Alanna asked as the salesman demanded an outlandish price.  
  
" That's a Reader-writer-roto-rooter-radiator, Dear, and I'm sure you'll find out." Alanna was really getting sick of that smile now -she really felt like punching the guy- but she restrained herself (dang it!).  
  
The dealer handed over the keys to the car and Bob & Alanna got into the not-so-new car. Owen screamed 'JOLLY' as he sped by in a convertible. No one seemed to notice.  
  
Next Episode (coming soon to a monitor near you!): Alanna and the Palace Plumbing (the horror!) A.N.~ Don't forget to review! ^_~ 


	4. The Long, Skinny one on the right

Alanna takes driving lessons(the horror!),  
Part four: the long, skinny one on the right   
  
  
Bob, Alanna and Owen (all magically transported back to the palace in seemingly no time at all) admired the new car as Thayet complained loudly about the price.  
  
"THIS IS A TOTAL JIP! HOW CAN THEY CHARGE YOU SO MUCH FOR SOMETHING THAT MAKES MORE NOISE THAN A HOARD OF MOUNTED SOLDIERS AND IS MUCH MORE EASILY LOST?! THOUSANDS OF...ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?! I DON'T THINK YOU ARE! I'LL SHOW YOU!"  
  
Alanna suppressed giggles as Thayet tried to run after Alanna in her dress and nearly fell on her face. She stopped smirking and ran as the queen tore a good foot or more off the bottom of her dress and proceeded to chase the knight.  
  
Bob watched, smiling pleasantly, and Owen yelled "Jolly!" repeatedly as the queen began to catch up with her rage-driven speed.  
  
The chase was ended prematurely when George suddenly appeared out the front door of the palace. "Pie's ready!" he said in an overly-enthusiastic, cheerful, sing-song tone.  
  
All action in the courtyard stopped for a moment -then every one yelled "PIE!!!!" and proceeded to try to cram through the small lesser door to the palace at the same time (never thinking to try opening the door all the way, of course).  
  
The group rushed into the kitchen and proceeded to stuff their faces -they didn't even use forks. Jon and George blinked at this display. George turned to Jon "It's a good thing I hid the other pie." Jon -looking like his eyes would pop out of their sockets- nodded as the rest continued to devour the pie (it was a very big pie -a pumpkin one).  
  
"Okay. Alanna." Alanna looked up at Bob, her face covered in pie "Hmph?" "It's time for your next lesson." "Hphm." Alanna looked regretfully at the few remaining crumbs of pie being devoured and followed Bob out the door, wiping her face on her sleeve as she did.  
  
It was dark outside and it looked like a storm was on the way as Alanna and Bob got into the new escort. "I sure like my new car." said Alanna (with a frighteningly large grin on her face). "Okay. This time I'm gonna tell you which pedal is the gas before you turn the car on. Just remember what all of those nice drivers behind me always say -'it's the long, skinny one on the right!'" Alanna suspected they weren't being nice when they said that but she listened anyway. "Okay. Now, how do I wake this monster up again?"  
"Every car is the same, you put the key into the little slot there -it's called the ignition- and you turn it 'til the engine starts." Bob watched expectantly as Alanna continued to look at the steering wheel in puzzlement. "You did bring the key didn't you?" Alanna looked up "Yeah, sure. Hold on." Alanna proceeded to search a number of hidden pockets on her person and eventually found a large ring of keys. She blinked at it for a moment before beginning the long and tiring process of trying every key on the ring to see if it would start the car. Somewhere near the beginning of this process Bob had smacked himself in the forehead so hard he had knocked himself unconscious. He was still out of it when Alanna -99.999999 (repeating) % of the way through the ring- also smacked herself in the forehead. "I just remembered -I put it in my sock drawer for safe keeping! I'll be right back." Alanna said to the silent Mr.Bill and went out into the rain (oh yeah, it started raining during the first twenty-eighth of the trial of the keys, just no one noticed 'til now).   
  
Alanna was nearing her room when Jonathan appeared screaming (well, maybe not screaming, but certainly yelling) "The sump-pump has died and the cellars are flooding! Call the plumber!" A servant appeared and told the king that telephones didn't exist in Tortall (yet). "Really? They brought cars in and not telephones? What a jip. Oh well. Alanna, you are the king's champion, do something! Please."  
"Well, I don't see what I-" "Splendid! I'll have the servants whip up a feast in your honor right away! Well what are you waiting for? Get to it!" Alanna watched in bewilderment as the king skipped down the hall and attempted to skip down the staircase (but failed and fell down the whole flight of steps). "What am I supposed to do about that? Oh well, I'll just find my keys and get back to the car. I bet I can drive to the plumber's place." And so Alanna retrieved her key (it was in her breeches drawer after all!) and headed back out into the thunder storm (I did tell you it was thundering, didn't I?).  
  
Bob was just waking up as Alanna got back into the car. "Have a nice nap?" she asked. "Actually, it was quite nice. I thank you for asking. Now then, what are we up to now?"  
"We're going to drive to the plumber's house and bring him back here to replace the broken sump-pump." "Okay, let's go. Remember, it's the long skinny one on the right." "Don't I need to know which one is the brake?" Bob considered this for a moment "No, we'll just save that for next lesson."  
"Okay." Alanna started the car up and floored it. The car leapt out of the parking lot and crashed through the palace wall into the flooding cellars. All of the people who had been working to stop the water were killed. Thayet just happened to be there. There was a shimmer and the Green Lady appeared once more. "You really are a troublemaker, aren't you? Oh well, one more time." She worked her magic and all of the people got up and walked away. "See you later (she mumbled under her breath) I'm sure." and she was gone once more.  
  
"Now what am I going to do about all this water?" Alanna turned to Bob. He was under the hood and hadn't heard her.  
He emerged holding the (reader-writer-roto-rooter-) radiator "I think we're going to have to-" The reader-writer-roto-rooter-radiator leapt out of his hand and landed in the water. It sunk to the bottom (no one tried to stop it, of course) and started fixing the plumbing (don't ask me how, I'm just the author).  
When it was all done, the cellars were miraculously clean and dry, the sun was shining, and a rainbow shone in the clear blue sky.  
  
Alanna blinked "I guess that reever-rider-root-a-rotor really was worth something after all." she said with wide eyes.  
  
Thayet (her make-up and hair still perfect) approached her "That's a reader-writer-roto-rooter-radiator, dear." and then she went away, patting and primping in front of a hand mirror that magically appeared in front of her.  
  
~More soon, stay tuned and don't touch that mouse! (Well, if you have to I guess you can... but only if you have to!) Did I ever mention that I never proofread any of these?  
  
^_^ 


	5. Joy Ride!!!!

Disclaimer~ I don't own any of this but the stupidity and extreme ooc-ness. Okay, I own the pie too. But I don't own Twinkies, or Mountain Dew, or Alanna, or anything else! Really!  
  
Sometime in the near (or not so near) future (after several events too  
painful to describe involving more deaths and resurrections, two  
volkswagons and a Bug, 14 peanut butter pies, 87 apple trees, 13 of  
Thayet's best dresses, two palace walls and a spatula) Alanna decided she  
was capable enough to go out driving on her own. Taking the keys (which  
she now kept in her unidentifiable-but-still-good-pieces-of-clothing  
drawer) she snuck out to the car and got in. Shortly after getting into the  
car she heard tapping on the window. Alanna rolled down the window.  
"Hey, can we come with you?" It was Daine, Numair, Kitten, Jon, Raul and  
some other person she didn't know. Alanna considered for a moment (it  
was really only a 3.5 person car) and then smiled brightly "Sure! But leave  
room for George, we're gonna swing by my place to pick him up." The  
crowd mumbled various agreements and piled in. "Hey, Alanna," it was  
Raul "Could you help me? The ceiling's a bit low." Raul was bent over  
double and so were Numair and Jon. Alanna thought for a bit "Ummm,  
sure." She blew the top off the car with a spark of purple magic. "Right.  
So, what are we waiting for? Let's get going!" "Jolly!" "Hey, when did  
Owen get in here?" "Oh, that was me. I just thought it must be fun, you  
know with how often he says it and stuff..." Jon trailed off and looked at  
his shoes miserably as everyone looked at him like there were squirrels  
oozing out of his ears. "Okay. Let's go!" Alanna turned the key and floored  
it. Luckily, they were on a long stretch of unoccupied straight road and  
they didn't kill themselves right there or else this chapter would be really  
short and Daine's mother would've gotten royally mad.  
  
So anyway, they shot off down the road as if an irate IRS man with a  
bazooka and a troop of blowfish-brandishing, deranged Canadians were  
chasing them (no offense to Canadians intended). Everyone threw their  
hands up in the air and yelled. Mostly because everyone really did have  
their hands up in the air and no one was driving, causing the car to come  
dangerously close to colliding with a yeti chasing Elvis being chased by a  
lovesick Lochness monster who had had some bad haggis and was being  
chased by Steve Irwin and a disgruntled post man who had recently become  
Steve's camera guy who had originally been chasing the ice cream truck  
but were distracted when the Lochness monster passed by. Of course, at  
that time Nessie was being chased by Richard Nixon yelling `I am not a  
crook!' but he ran out of breath and was distracted by the ice cream truck  
anyway so he wasn't in the line when Alanna nearly made them off-road-  
kill. Getting back on the road, Alanna noticed she had missed the turn to  
pirate's swoop and had to turn around. This time she nearly ran into the  
insurance guys who had just gotten Steve Irwin's medical costs for that  
month and had a few things' to say to him. "Wow, it's busy tonight."  
Alanna said in a conversational tone. When no one answered, she looked  
over at Raul sitting next to her. He was asleep. She elbowed him visciously  
in the nose (A.N. Hey, no one else does that so I just wanted to point out  
the possibility of it happening!). "Huh? Oh, yeah! I agree." Raul said as he  
came awake abruptly. Fortunately for their rarely elbowed body parts, the  
rest of the passengers had been awoken by Raul's shout and so were all  
paying attention when Alanna looked back at them. "Honestly Raul, how  
could you fall asleep? You're the one who wanted to come along. It's not  
like I dragged you out of your bed or soemthing. No one else fell asleep."  
The others fidgeted in the back as Raul blushed and tried to think of  
something good. "Um...well. It's... Hey, isn't that your place?" Alanna  
swerved over and managed to make it into the new driveway without  
killing more than 87/88 of the plants in the landscaping. "Hey! George! Get  
out here!" Alanna shouted. A window in an upper level showed that  
someone had heard her. George stuck his heel out the window "What?" He  
said. "Joy Ride!!!!" Shouted the passengers. "Oh, right." George began to  
pull his heel back into the room and then changed his mind and hurled  
himself backwards out of the window heel first. (It was late, forgive him  
for mistaking his heel for a mean of listening and otherwise useful for  
things it isn't really useful for.) He grabbed onto the wall and then dropped  
down til he was hanging off a banner pole. After a few good swings on the  
pole he let go and flew through the air towards the car, managing to land  
in its somewhat near vicinity and then scramble into the front, squeezing  
in between Alanna and Raul. He held some round objects and smiled "I've  
got pie." He said. Everyone expressed their positive feelings about this and  
then Alanna drove off while stuffing her face with rhubarb pie.   
"Hey! The strange guy yelled. "Where are we going?" "CRAZY!!!!!" They all  
yelled. "Great!" The now obviously drunk man said.   
  
  
~Three mailtrucks, 18 conveniance store stops, 356,785.999999 twinkies,  
4,758 2-liters of Mountain Dew, 14 talking horses, a French Maid and 26  
hilbillies (all with the same last name) later~  
  
  
"Hey, shouldn't we be getting back? It's almost tommorrow." "Ummmm...  
Okay. Where are we?" "You are now on..." *dramatic lighting and drumroll*  
"who wants to win something ridiculously stupid that we'll overtax you  
for forever?!!!!!!!!!!" said the strange woman who had come along with them  
in a loud gameshow announcer type voice. "Woman? I thought it was a guy?  
What were you people doing back there?" Alanna interrupted. "Uhhhhh..."  
"AHEM! I am the center of attention here, thank you! Now then, do all of you  
want to compete separately, or in teams?"  
  
  
~*~ A.n. Duh, duh, duuuuuuuuuuuuh. What now? What will they choose? Will  
they ever get back to the palace? Will Bigfoot catch Elvis? Will I ever  
update again? Will the sockmonkeys eat us all???!! Find out this and less  
on the possible next chapter of... *drumroll* `Alanna takes driving lessons:  
The Horror!'  
  
*evil auther glare of doom* You better all review if you ever want to see  
more of this because frankly your reliability in that area so far has been  
remarkably low. 


End file.
